I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
