god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
