doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
