I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Randomize
