How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
