You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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