My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
