i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just want to make out with him forever
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
