Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
