My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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