his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
