I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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