Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
