I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
