Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
