We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
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