What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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