Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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