all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
