i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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