Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Randomize
