Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
