Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
