I'm lost and stupid without you.
I am puke
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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