I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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