I CAN MOONWALK!
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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