I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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