we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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