Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
