Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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