i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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