bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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