so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
