Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
