Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize