I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
