You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
