they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
