In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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