That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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