just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
