now i know why i became what i already was.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
