It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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