And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize