I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Randomize
