okay pat passed out under dana's car
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
