The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
