i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
