I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
