the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
