You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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