Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
