would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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