Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize