he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
My feet surprised me
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