Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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